Yup.

It still works.

This Makes Sense.....

Secret Document......

I can't tell you how I got my hands on this, but I managed to, nonetheless. In the spirit of the Presidential campaign being in full swing, and the political conventions having wound down, I proudly present to you....

The schedule of events for the final day of the 2008 Democratic National Convention


7:00 pm - Opening flag burning

7:15 pm - Pledge of Allegiance (to the United Nations)

7:20 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm - Nonreligious prayer & worship, led by Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm - Ceremonial tree hugging - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm - How I Invented The Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm - Gay wedding planning - Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm - Our War Troops Are Criminals (A Symposium) - John Kerry

9:00 pm - Memorial Service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm - Answering Machine Etiquette - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm - Collection for the Osama Bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm - Free the freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn

11:30 pm - Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm - How George Bush Brought Down The World Trade Towers -Howard Dean

12:15 am - Truth In Broadcasting Award - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am - Satellite Address - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am - Nomination of Barrack Hussein Obama - Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am - Coronation of Barrack Hussein Obama

1:30 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am - Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hilary home


It's truly amazing how much goes on behind the scenes. And, everyone, please "give it up" for all of the celebrities involved. It really is something that they give up their time for an event such as this. Don't forgot about the post-event concert with The Dixie Chicks.

New England Patriots: 18 and N0!

First and foremost, holy crap, what a game! As a loyal Steelers fan that is naturally a "whoever's playing the Patriots" fan, I couldn't be more ecstatic. I've been pulling for these guys to lose for weeks now, and it finally happened. I didn't care WHO beat them. Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid could have suited up against the Patriots, and I would have been pulling for the Patriots to lose. And, lose, they did. And it couldn't have happened at a better time. From their coach that got caught cheating early in the season to questionable calls going in their favor week after week after week to their role-model quarterback that left his girlfriend shortly after impregnating her....

I could go on forever, but I won't. This time belongs to Eli Manning and the New York Giants. Congratulations, guys....you deserve it!


I know the video's not the greatest in the world, but if this play didn't get you up out of your seat, I don't know what would. Unbelievable. But, listen to the announcer when he says "and it's caught by Tyree". He almost sounds disappointed. To me, it's another perfect example of everyone from announcers to referees blatantly pulling for the Patriots so they could see their "perfect season" come to fruition.




Oh yeah.....almost forgot.....the commercials. All in all, I was extremely disappointed in this year's batch of ads. Considering companies spent millions of dollars to get their brand out in front of 97 million viewers, you'd think there would have been more memorable moments. The Budweiser Clydesdale ad was entertaining, classy, and a little humorous, as always. The Bud ad with the man breathing fire was also pretty entertaining. However, my personal favorite was this little gem from E-Trade.



I love how the baby's eyes light up when he says he's renting a clown with his "extra coin". Great ad. Not my favorite of all time, but I loved it. If I had to choose my favorite of all time, it would be a tough call, but would come down to these:



"Nope.....I believe that's a zebra."



"Bad dog."




"Sales aren't up....they're....they're down." Follow that with the monkey lighting his cigar with a burning wad of money, and you can't go wrong. Although, I AM pretty sure those are some former co-workers of mine.

What's YOUR favorite?

PirateFest 2008: Are You Ready For Some Baseball?!?

Well, it's that time again. We're just a few short weeks away from the start of Spring Training, which means that it's time to trudge on down to the Convention Center in downtown Pittsburgh for the annual PirateFest event. I've taken my kids to this 5 out of the last 6 years, and as always, a good time was had by all.

We didn't make it to the first night of the three-day event, but we were able to attend Saturday and Sunday. If you don't know what PirateFest is, it's an opportunity for kids (of ALL ages) to play baseball-related games, meet and receive autographs from current and former Pirate players, listen in on Q & A sessions with Pirates management and players, and of course, eat and have an all around great time.


Naturally, my kids didn't know who a lot of the "old-timers" were, but they had the chance to meet Dave Parker, Bill Madlock, Al Oliver, and Richie Hebner, from the 70s and the 80s, along with Nyjer Morgan and Jack Wilson, from the current crop of Bucs.

Bill Madlock, Pirate from 1979-1985


Dick Groat, Pirate shortstop from 1952-1962


Current Pirates shortstop, Jack Wilson

Here are a few of the autographs that the kids (with Dad's help) were able to get.....

Bill Madlock, Xavier Nady, and Dick Groat

Speedy outfielder, Nyjer Morgan

Pirates of the future?? Jonathan and his buddy Alex take a break from the festivities to pose for the Giant Eagle Kid Zone photographer.

Now, we just wait for April 7th to get here for the home opener. Play Ball!!

Parenthood

I would imagine that the majority of parents in the world want to do a good job parenting. No doubt there are large numbers that DON'T care about doing a good job, and many that DO care, but aren't willing to put in the effort. For the most part, though, I firmly believe most parents want their children to grow up successful, smart, and better off than they were. Of course, it's not always easy to achieve these goals. Parenting is definitely hard work.

For a task so difficult, you'd think we would have more time to prepare. I got four years to prepare to graduate from college and earn a degree. I didn't graduate as valedictorian, but more along the lines of "skin-of-my-teeth-orian" Nonetheless, I made it. In many states, you can get a driver's learner's permit one year before you can get a driver's license. Lots of time to prepare for that, as well. Preparing for parenthood? Realistically.....if you're lucky....you get NINE MONTHS!! That's not a whole lot of time. During those nine months, even if you learn one thing a day that you need to know to be a parent.....that'll get you through about one week after the child arrives.

And with the arrival of the child, there's the arrival of all the worries and concerns. Will I be a good parent? Will I teach my child everything he'll need to know to make it in the world? Will I be financially prepared to provide a good education for my child? Am I spending enough time with my kids? Will my child find a good spouse when the time comes? What if my child gets hurt? The list goes on and on. I can guarantee that these and many more have all crossed my mind over the course of the last 12 years. You wonder about these things.....you ponder on these things. Then, every once in awhile, you receive some type of epiphany. (For those of you who may be reading in West Virginia, click here.) I had one of these epiphanies last week.

My youngest son (he’s 7) is learning about the Revolutionary War and the like in school right now. The other day my wife was quizzing him and they had a conversation along these lines…

Charlene: “What do we celebrate on July 4th?”

Jonathan: “Independence Day”

C: “Right….and what’s another word for Independence?”

J: “Freedom”

C: “Right….and what are we celebrating our freedom from?”

J: “The Clintons”


I was standing in the room when this happened.....just kind of minding my own business, preparing to leave for work, if I remember correctly. I could have sworn that the skies opened, and the angels began to sing. I almost dropped the glass of Coke in my hand. Did I really hear my son correctly? I had....and although we got quite a laugh out of this happening, we all knew that my son "got it". Hence one of those moments when there's that confirmation that I'm doing a good job as a parent, and my kids are gonna make it!

I can see this happening.....

The US Postal Service has created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

This enraged Senator Clinton (what doesn't?), who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special commission made the following findings:

1. The stamp was in perfect order.
2. There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
3. People were spitting on the wrong side.