This is one of those emails that gets forwarded all over the place, and I have my Uncle George to thank for getting this one into my inbox. Makes a great point in a great way....as Rush likes to say...."demonstrating absurdity by using the absurd"
LARK - Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers
A Lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received the following reply:
The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome the severe character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Good luck!
11 comments:
Stop picking on us liberals!!
Stop giving me ammunition!
being a liberal or democrat isn't the problem, jeff, and deep down you know it. there is always more than one side to every story and we could debate about it forever. what it always has come down to is the haves and have nots. what is more disturbing, I ask you, the political bs-storm or the middle America that is slowly being squashed out of existence?
Heather,
Although I completely disagree with your point, I'm VERY glad you took a moment to comment. That means people are reading, and thinking about the things I've written. I don't want this to simply be a place where I can go to just "journalize" things...I'd like it to be as interactive as possible. That being said...
Being a Democrat isn't necessarily the problem, but being a liberal IS a huge part of the problem. What you have to understand is that liberalism isn't just about how someone votes....it's about a way of thinking that permeates every aspect of that person's life, just as being a conservative does. Someone isn't liberal just because they are pro-abortion....it goes deeper than that into what kind of thought processes can cause someone to have a complete disregard for human life. Someone isn't liberal because they're against the war....it goes deeper to what would cause them to have such a complete and utter disdain toward this country and the young men and women that are giving their lives fighting for the very freedom of said liberals. Someone's conservativism or liberalism goes to the very being of what they are and what they stand for (or don't stand for). It is their worldview, and what makes a person who and what that person is.
I don't fall into the trap of class envy that liberals try to create by throwing out the "haves and have nots" terms. It's not about that....it's about having a system that creates opportunity for the "have nots" to become "haves". It's about having as little government interference in that system as possible. It's about allowing freedom to exist the way our founding fathers intended...NOT the way many people define "freedom" today.
And, to answer your final question...well, I can't really answer your final question, as I don't believe for an instant that middle America is being "squashed out of existence". I'm sorry you feel that way....I choose to believe that the middle class is the heart and soul of our country....they are what keeps our country going and keeps it strong...even moreso when they demonstrate a desire to move BEYOND the middle class. No one should be satisfied to "stay where they are"...we should all have a drive and desire to move up and advance our lives. Not out of desire for more money, or status, but out of a desire to succeed and be proud of what you've done with your life.
Jeff - I never knew you could speak so eloquently. Maybe because we've spent so much time over the years quoting Beavis & Butthead!!
Are you threatening me?!? You WILL give me TP!
Well, Jeff, one can certainly say you are a hard-core republican. Your words cannot sway me though. I know what it means to be liberal and I know you can feel the truth behind my statement about middle America being squashed...which has nothing to do with class envy... USA Today ran an article back in 2003 about these middle class families who cannot exist without dual incomes. I just read another article about how a school teacher has to moonlight just to make ends meet in a local paper, Charleston City Paper. He is not the only one as the paper also ran side articles on different people in the same situation that have to hold down two or three jobs just to make ends meet. Listen to the fact-checking section of the State of the Union closely on National Public Radio and you will find that everything isn't as peachy with the economy as it seems. So, dear Jeff, live in your dream world believing that you will move up after all that is the American dream. You have the right to the persuit of happiness. Me? I'll live in reality.
eather, let me start by saying three things:
A) Keep in mind, that I am NOT a hard-core Republican, but am a hard-core conservative. Remember, there's a difference. One of the U.S. Senators here in PA is Arlen Specter, a Republican, but I CERTAINLY would not align myself with most of his views. I am disenchanted with MANY things that MANY current Republicans say and do;
2) My words aren't meant to "sway" you, as you stated. Although I've joked in the past about how much better the world would be if everyone believed as I do, I don't have a desire for everyone to agree with me....that would prove very boring, as fun and interesting conversations like this would never occur; and
d) For every article/link you posted, I could post TWO that talk about the positives in the economy today. I wouldn't expect the sources you used to have ANYthing good to say about the economy during a Republican administration. National Public Radio?!? We can start with 2005 Millionaires and then move on to 2004 Millionaires. Both of these articles are from CNN, which certainly is historically no lover of conservatives or Republicans. Perhaps a large part of the reason that "middle America" is disappearing can be found in these articles referring to the record number of folks becoming millionaires in the last few years of America.
Yeah, I will quickly agree that there are a lot of examples in America of families that are struggling, even on multiple incomes. Again, though, for every story like that there is a story of families that are MORE THAN surviving on one income, giving wives/mothers (or husbands/fathers) the ability and freedom to stay at home and give their families the attention they deserve.
I WILL continue to live in my "dream world" of being able to move up and better myself and my life. A large part of the American Dream has already happened for me. For a little over a year now, I'm a homeowner....and we were able to do it on one income. Please help me understand why you WANT to live in your "reality" that is so pessimistic and holds so many people back. I can't imagine feeling and living that way...perhaps I'm just not understanding where you're coming from clearly?
And P.S.
Sorry the "H" didn't register at the beginning of your name, "eather"...oops
What in God's name is Hez talking about? What middle class citizen did not receive significant tax relief over the past 6 years?
I suppose he would like the goverment to make everyone's life better by offering more social programs.
How about more of our own money back in the form of permanent tax relief.
By the way. Stop engaging people called "The Princess" and get a job!
An open letter to "The Voice Of Reason"....
Comments are welcome from all on my blog, even if they claim to be a "princess" when there's no royalty involved at all. Even if they're liberal. The Fairness Doctrine does not apply here. I believe strictly in "strengths-based commenting" and "reader engagement".
By the way, you're welcome to write a "guest column" on my site anytime.
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